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<![CDATA[<FONT color=#009900>any resemblance to real people or incident is purely coincidental
>
>4 miracles of a woman:
> getting wet without taking a shower
> bleeding without getting hurt
> giving milk without eating grass
> and making boneless flesh hard
>
>Splash News:
> At last a new generation napkin made specially to satisfy women,
> Introducing new whisper with finger, keeps you wet even if you are
>dry.
>
>Types of farters:
> Pretenders: farts silently then acts innocent
> Shy: farts softly then smiles
> Arrogant: farts loudly then laughs
> Unlucky: tries to fart but shits.
>
>A man dashes into a woman and says "So sorry ma'am. If your heart is as
>soft as your breasts, you will forgive me"
>The lady replies: "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, am in room 603"
>
>1st fact of life: garib aur boobs hamesha dabte hain.
>2nd fact of life: musibat aur dick kahin bhi khade ho sakte hain.
>3rd fact of life: kismat aur bra kahin bhi khul sakti hain.
>
>Q : How do the Talibans seduce their women?
>A : First they attack their twin towers, then they crash into their
>pentagon.
>
>Girls reaction to penis sizes:
> # 9'' - oh shit pain!
> # 7'' - oh yes, yum!
> # 6'' - oh perfect!
> # 5'' - mmm ok!
> # 4'' - push more!
> # 3'' - is it in?
> # 2'' - idiot! Just use your tongue.
>
>
>Ever wondered why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
> A - Airport (flat)
> B - Barely there
> C - Can do
> D - Damn good
> E - Enormous
> F - Fake
>
>
>What's the definition of a Lesbian?
> "Just another damn woman, trying to do a man's job."
>
>Women are unpredictable:
> Before marriage, she expects a man.
> After marriage, she suspects her man. &
> After his death, she respects him.
>
>Why are married women fatter than single one's?
> Singles come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed whereas,
> married women come home, see what's in the bed & go to the fridge.
>
>During pregnancy:
> The 1st three months, do it the normal style
>
> Next three months do it the doggy style
>
> And the last three months do it the
>wolf style. sit outside the hole and howl.
>
>
>All couples have different phases of sex life:
> Age 20 - din raat
> Age 28 - roz raat
> Age 38 - jumme raat
> Age 48 - chandni raat
> Age 58 - only jazbaat
>
>Latest statistics on 'what men do after SEX?
> 2% eat
> 3% smoke cigarettes
> 4% take a shower
> 5% go to sleep
> 86% get up and go back home to their wife.
>
>What did newton's dick say to him after seeing a nude woman?
> "Fuck you and your law of gravity, I'm goin UP."
>
>Man was sobbing in a bar. His friend asked 'why?'
>He said: "my wife makes me pay Rs 1,000/- for every fuk!"
>Friend said: "you're lucky, she charges others Rs.2,500/-"
>
>Girl in theatre: "the man next to me is masturbating"
>Boyfriend: "ignore him"
>GF: "I can't, he's using my hand"
>
>Lady scolds her maid for inefficiency.
>
> Angry maid says, "atleast I am better than you in bed."
>Lady (amzed): " Did sahab tell you this?"
>Maid: "No, the driver did."
>
>What is common between a passionate kiss and a spider?
>
>"Both lead to the undoing of the fly".
>
>What is the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>
>"After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."
>
>Eve: " Adam, do you love me?"
>Adam: " No, I don't."
>Eve (crying): " Then why did you make love to me?"
>Adam: " Hello!!! As if I had other choices."
>
>A wife complains to the doctor that her hubby is 300% impotent.
>The doc asks "how 300%?"
>She sayz: "you know about the 100%, and now he has broken his finger and
>burnt his tongue."
>
>25 useless things in a man:
> 20 nails
> 02 nipples that don't milk
> 02 balls that you cannot play with. &
> 01 cock that does not hatch eggs.
>
>Teacher: "why buffaloes get depressed after milking?
>Student: "Ma'am, if your boobs are rubbed for 2 hours & then you are left
>unfucked how would feel?
>
>Policeman arrested a prostitute.
>Prostitute: "I'm not selling sex!
>Policeman: "Then what are you doing?"
>Prostitute: "I'm selling condoms and offering free demo.
>
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